Monday, August 15, 2011

the good and the bad

i write today about my experiences because, mostly, i feel a need to vent to the world about the saddness and anger i have seen.
today was a normal day, 2 oclock pm heading to the barrios, neighborhoods, to meet with the children to make bracelets, play soccer, jumprope, lo que sea. upon arrival, two kids pulled me aside and said "marcelo has been shot." i did a double take, saying "what?!" and they told me that marcelo, our 18 year old "group leader," son of a wonderful family, leader of our dance group, my good friend, in the barrio "Cristo Vive" was shot. he is alive, he is well, he wont die, but the whole thing really just got me thinking.
i don't know the story, so i cannot retell it to you all, but the basics are that he was walking home, attempted to be robbed by two ladrones, and resisted, hence being shot and nearly killed. when i saw him, he was laying in bed, in shock, with bloody bandages and a look of fear i have never seen in him. marcelo is my friend, i rely on him. he is known, through rumors, to be homosexual within the community and my organization. he is a true leader, he is confident (as much as he can be living in a very conservative world), true, kind, and helpful. marcelo is strong, in that he openly questions his sexuality, he is the dance instructor, the reason our kids perform salsa, bachata, samba numbers at all of our public events. marcelo is, in my eyes, my reference in the neighborhood.
he was caught in the wrong place, at the wrong time. today i sat with him, held his hand, and told him how much i admired him as a person. he will be ok, he will live, he will probably lose a finger or two. but, his life is most important and he cherishes that.
today i decided i would join the psychology sector of my organization. i have decided to pursue my passion, which is psychology, when i return to the USA. so, in order to gain experience i am learning from local psychologists to understand how it all works down here. i sat through a therapy session with marcelo and the psychologist today, and to say the least it was interesting. the psychologists first question was, "so what good can come out of this experience?" marcelo looked at the psychologist and timidly laughed. "nothing, good, will come out of this experience." the conversation proceeded by the psychologist telling marcelo that, although he has just been shot in the arm and the finger, might lose a finger, their are postives. number one, marcelo has realized his family does love him. he said, "i couldnt tell if my dad ever really cared about me. i know he loves my brothers and sisters, but i never really thought he loved me. but he came, to the hospital, and he was with me." his family does love him, hopefully he sees that. marcelo learned he didnt die, he lived. while he is now in extreme risk, as they reported the situation to the police and are at risk of being pursued by the people that hurt him, he is alive.
the good...marcelo didnt die. hes alive to grow, and to continue being an awesome person. from this experience i see him growing, becoming more confident, and continuing on with life. the bad, an 18 year old boy cant live a normal life, cant walk down the street without danger of dying, cant be who he is without prejudice.
a run-on of emotions. hope this was somewhat coherent.

No comments:

Post a Comment